Woops, Sari!

It's probably not a good idea to attend an elite elementary school fundraiser after an afternoon of drinking at the strip club is it? Well that's exactly what I tried to do after being "invited" to this Brooklyn Heights silent auction fundraiser. Clockbauer said it was cool and that there would be some jam'in snacks so I said OK. Litterally within seconds I was booted when I tried to set my drink down near one of the most expensive items on the auction lot, an antique SARI.!! Problem was there were these confusing cheap party wire, confetti decorations and precariously perchered tea candles everywhere. OSHA and the BFDP would have had a field day here. Vision blurred, I tipped over a candle and the wax got all over the precious item. I don't know if you've tried to get wax out of a textile, but it's not something you can do in a flash. Had they known I am one of the most exclusive importers of all things India I could have massively overcompesated for this faux "paw". In Howard Hughes proportions, I am going to airlift and drop 10,000 saris in the area in the coming weeks. The last time this stunt was pulled in New Dehli, 18 people died in the ravenous stampeeds and catfights that followed.